I remember the first time I went into one of these meetings, there was a sign on the door that said it must be locked at all times. “Once a week, there’s a ward meeting with nurses and doctors to discuss where you are, your medication, any new diagnoses or observations. There are shutters on your bedroom door and they open them at night and flash a light in to check on you which disturbs your sleep. It feels like someone is always hovering. You feel like you’re always being watched, especially when you first become a patient and they do 15 minute checks on you. “Each person has a different set of rules. Family and friends can come and see you at certain times in the visiting room but they have to be patted down and checked with a waving wand by a security guard first.
“You can’t have any clothes hangers, lighters, pins for putting up photos, dressing gown ties, razors, phone chargers, anything you could hurt yourself with. I’m a really empathic person so I end up soaking up everything on the ward. They sometimes get things messed up in their head and challenge you verbally. Some people might be volatile and hit you or throw things at you or go for you. I’m not an angry person, I struggle with anger even though I know it’s sometimes healthy to have an outburst. I’ve seen someone go from being very manic to drooling, lost, dazed and confused. If you refuse, they have the right to inject you. You have to have your mouth checked after your medication. I have never been to prison but I think they are both institutions and ward life is very much a routine. “It’s not easy to get into a psych ward and, once you’re there, it’s not easy to get out. But emotionally there are always going to be repercussions on the people in your life. I’ve never ever been a danger to others, only myself. "You never really have a choice, it’s just you know if you are left alone that your thoughts will overshadow your love for people or your future dreams. "This seems ominous, it’s not like going into The Priory, it’s nothing like what the celebs say," she said. Over the past 10 years, Jade has been treated as an inpatient four times, normally staying in hospital for around a month at a time. Jade writes a mental health blog called a Diary from No-one "I hear voices and I think 'was that my partner talking or was it something I can’t see just talking to me?' That’s called psychosis. "It’s like, if you are not rocking back and forth in your chair or smothering your faeces on the wall, then you must be OK. "One of the biggest challenges I face is that I seem eloquent and together but it means people, including some health professionals, don’t always hear me if I’m feeling unsafe, and think I can’t possibly be mentally ill," she said. Read more: 'My whole life fell apart' - mum makes huge change for daughters after heartbreak rocks family Today she is bravely sharing her story to encourage others to seek the help they need as soon as possible. She has also written a play which was performed at the MAC. In a bid to raise awareness, she began writing a blog called A Diary from No-one, where she shares poetry about how she feels. Jade, 38, says she was sectioned once and admitted herself a further three times to mental health wards in Birmingham.ĭiagnosed with depression at the age of 16 due to childhood bullying, Jade said this sparked a lifetime of mental health appointments and treatments, ultimately resulting in her being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, an umbrella term for depression, anxiety, emotional instability and psychosis. A Birmingham blogger has opened up about what it is like to be admitted into a psych ward.
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